Andrew McClure

Film Review: The Descendants

by Andrew McClure

Hawaii: The most exhausted and clichéd answer to the unavoidable query by your overzealous, inquisitive uncle: If you could go anywhere, where would you go? The funny thing is that usually the answerer has not a clue about what Hawaii truly entails notwithstanding the idyllic sunsets, Kool Aid-looking waters and pretty females. Highly applauded director [...]

#9: Which holiday falls in the month of December, again?

by Andrew McClure

SIDENOTE: Isn’t it bizarre how a college student (read: freshman) can be continually bored shitless throughout the entire term in a selected class, yet once the professor sends them packing subsequent to finals, a feeling of melancholy, even remorse, permeates their veins? That’s a little thing called solicitude: it’s when your typical hormonally-charged, narcissistic self [...]

Pixar: the paragon of the maverick engineers

by Andrew McClure

SIDENOTE: We just slid into the Sugar Bowl (against VT Hokies), much to MSU fans’ chagrin. Brace yourself for sassy, unsubstantial, and bitchy comments on Facebook, Twitter, and whatever else further exacerbates MSU students’ GPAs the most. Hey, I’d be livid too if my team was headed to a bowl dubbed after a kangaroo’s paradise. [...]

Having trouble choosing peppy workout tracks

by Andrew McClure

That convince one can bang an untouchable female “sorostitute,” dunk while standing at 5’6’’, and do a better job than Obama? Keep looking, trolls. SIDENOTE: There are two reasons to screen the new “Titantic 3D” that has recently hit theaters: a) tickle the snowy beard of the captain and b) [insert unconscionable suggestion regarding Winslet’s [...]

Film Review: Margin Call

by Andrew McClure

Our resident Film Critic has another intriguing movie review.

Anyone can be a predator nowadays with a smidgen of power

by Andrew McClure

SIDENOTE: Pop-starlet Justin Bieber was recently accused of impregnating a grown woman. He was reportedly shocked when informed that America has finally admitted to his resignation of “Pull-Ups” for unforgivably filthy and unprotected sex As I am certain most of you have gotten wind of the Penn State defensive coordinator blood-curdling impropriety involving child-sexual-abuse. This [...]

Film Review: Ides of March

by Andrew McClure

Our film critic reviews Ides of March which was partially filmed on campus.

iPod: The Common Currency of College

by Andrew McClure

SIDENOTE: GOP candidate Herman Cain aka “Black Walnut” was recently accused of sexual harassment against two female employees back in the nineties. He is blacker than Obama, owns a self-proclaimed moniker, releases bizarre smoking ads, and resembles a pizza-fiend tortoise. If only he was a Democrat . . . Every time you stroll, jog, or [...]

Fast Times at G.D.I.

by Andrew McClure

SIEDENOTE: Next time you witness someone solemnly utter the colloquialism, “Awk Sitch” (meaning “awkward situation”), do me a favor, and, regardless of gender, bludgeon he or she in the face. I know college has a proclivity to engender fresh, hip terms/phrases, but that is simply not one of them. Thank you. I was hysterically surprised when, [...]

Home sweet home: aka Fall Break ’11

by Andrew McClure

SIDENOTE: Keep your eyes peeled for our beloved Denard around campus. If you can spot him without a fat grin across his face, you would be one of the firsts. After the Spartan fiasco, Hokemania wants this one to “sink in,” if that means Denard can’t be ecstatic always, so be it. As I strolled [...]

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