A Tour of Michigan's Residence Halls

So you've just gotten your housing assignment. Besides wondering what level of hell you have to go through with your roommate and how many truckloads of things to bring, you're probably wondering what the dorms themselves are like. Here's a rundown of U-M's dor…whoops, "residence halls." 1. Mary Markley - This is going to be all freshmen from Fall 2009 onwards and correspondingly is the nastiest dorm you can get stuck in. All those stories you hear about puke in the hallways and all night partying with insane decibel levels? They all actually happen at Markley. Prepare yourself to live in rooms that are akin to pigeonholes, and a dining hall that looks like Slytherin's common room. Surviving Markley is a feat in itself. That and actually getting to it in one piece after passing through the Wind Tunnel. 2. Mosher-Jordan aka "MoJo" - Where all the WISE, MRC and other random people live. Talking at anything above a whisper is a crime here and you will be humiliated by those pesky RA's. However, this dorm opened after extensive renovation over last summer, and is very new and swanky inside. The Hill Dining Center is attached to MoJo, so you can actually go down to eat in your pajamas, unlike those other unfortunate Hill people. It is another matter whether you will ever find a place to sit down and eat… 3. Alice Lloyd - All the boring LHSP and HSSP kids live there. It has huge rooms and that is probably the only good thing about living here. 4. Couzens - This is so far away that nobody actually knows what goes on there. There will be a lot of save-the-planet and help-the-people types thanks to the MCSP. 5. Stockwell - Opens Fall 2009 after renovation. It has some ridiculously tiny rooms, but seems a nice enough place to live. Moreover, it's just behind the CCRB. 6. Bursley - A lot of freshmen get forced in here. It is supposed to be among the five biggest dorms in the country. When you're so far away from civilization as North Campus though, the two mix to create a nice result. Also, where else can you wake up and look at deer outside your window or have the pleasure of looking at three raccoons foraging in a dustbin? 7. Baits - Absolute worst dorm. No dining hall, no sense of community, and all the houses are different buildings. Baits is so quiet that talking in the hallway gives you an eerie feeling. The inhabitants are suspected to be robots. 8. Barbour/Newberry - Those nice little all-girls houses on State Street. Between them there are only 200 people or so, and hence a rare breed. 9. East Quad - Houses the RC and thus has a plethora of overly liberal, artsy, hippie folk. Their dining hall is supposed to serve the worst food (and going by U-M standards, that's quite a bad rep), but the location is a real plus. 10. South Quad - Also a very big dorm, and very lively. Their dining hall is tolerable and the people are quite nice too. The annual South Quad/West Quad snowball fight is one of their most popular events. 11. West Quad - So old that they do not have those things called elevators. They do have huge rooms though, and direct access to the Union. All the athletes get placed here. 12. Oxford - To get to Oxford, go past the CCRB and keep walking. You might just get to it eventually. And to add to the misery, they don't even have a proper dining hall. 13. Martha Cook - 14. Fletcher - 75 people live here. Enough said.

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