Once you start your first classes at Michigan, you may be intimidated by your professor's commanding presence at the front of the room. After you get to know them, though, you'll be able to actually classify different types of professors on campus. See how many that you can find during your first week in Ann Arbor!
- The rugged outdoorsman. Yes, we know you've seen them. They have huge bushy beards, never wear suits, and more than likely teach a class about the environment.
- The hippie. Most often female with long, unkempt hair. They tend to wear loose-fitting clothes, and may sometimes smell like patchouli.
- The quiet intellectual. Soft-spoken, intelligent. This professor has written treatises on the most esoteric subjects that you can think of, and some that you can't. Dresses very professionally and more often than not has an Oxford accent.
- The "hip" professor. He's down with the kids. He's young, energetic, witty. Class with him is hilarious. But he gives the hardest homework assignments and exams. Seriously.
- The absent-minded professor. Brilliant, knows the subject inside and out. Unfortunately, he doesn't remember much more than that. Sometimes wears mismatched clothing, forgets to return homework assignments on time, if at all. Most often teaches something in the liberal arts.
- The scientist. Punctual, always prepared, sprinkles lectures with anecdotes that only two sycophants in the room find hilarious. Teaches, yep, you guessed it - science courses!
- The feminist. Yeah, you might run into a few. Woe be unto you if you're a guy and you're taking their class. You're not going to get higher than a B. Unless you get a sex change. Ouch.
- The caring professor. This professor cares about their subject, and cares about you. They want you to succeed. Their class is easy, but you're going to learn more in it than you've ever learned before.
- The foreigner. Usually lecturers in language departments, although they could be visiting from abroad and teaching courses elsewhere in the University. Whether you can understand them is really a toss-up. Good luck.
- The guest lecturer. Some courses are taught by people from the "real world." Gasp! Yes, these people have real-life experience in their areas of expertise. You might even call them experts. They have first-hand knowledge of what is beyond these hallowed halls of learning. Unfortunately, they don't seem to stay very long, or teach many courses. I wonder why.
- The normal professor. Believe it or not, there are also normal professors. The ones who don't try to push an agenda and are down-to-earth. They are remarkably normal. Like any other respectable person you'd meet.
- The "aloof" professor. Impossible to get a hold of. Never responds to e-mails, phone calls, letters, questions, comments, concerns, issues, humble requests, etc. Need something? Speak to his grad assistant. This professor's too busy with stuff that's much more important than you.
- The conservative professor. We end this article with a creature that is very rare on college campuses nation-wide. Should you run into one, be sure to announce it in a scientific journal. They might even name this species after you. How can you identify them? Well, this humble author has never seen one in its natural habitat, so you're on your own.
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