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St. Patrick's Day, a Student Timeline

Campus Culture Column

Published: Monday, March 17, 2008

Updated: Saturday, October 10, 2009

7:30 - Rustlings outside. Either Football Saturdays have magically returned, or someone's trying to break into the sorority next door again. Pull covers over head.

8:45 - Drunken roommate returns with equally drunk girlfriend trailing behind. She's wearing a headband with metallic shamrock springs popular with 2nd graders the world over. He's wearing a green shirt that reads, "I'm lucky you're drunk."

8:53 - Drunk girlfriend of drunk girlfriend enters. She claims to be going to the library for the rest of the day, because "My major is soooo hard. It's, like, harder than everyone else's.' I have to go, no I totally have to." She trips while sitting down.

9:00 - Whatever. I'll just start drinking. Let me grab my leprechaun socks.

9:45 - Friend's house is surprisingly subdued. People seem grouped into two categories: those who are confused as to whether it's really St. Patrick's Day, and those who could not care less. And then there's the big guy with a shillelagh-shaped beer bong who doesn't even know that there's a holiday going on.

9:47 - I'm definitely in the second group.

9:49 - What does 'subdued' even mean???

4:30 - I think some stuff happened. Grass is pretty comfy, anyways. I raise myself up and notice that my friend's house, normally pretty well-kept, now resembles a bomb-shelter.

5:30 - After consuming some left-over pizza from the open boxes littering the kitchen, I munch thoughtfully. Although the holiday is pretty arbitrary, people seem to be enjoying themselves all the same. There are droves of green-clad people wandering around campus, even a couple aware enough of Irish culture to be whistling "O Danny Boy." Maybe it's just because collegiate drinking is so arbitrary to begin with that inserting another day dedicated nationally to alcohol abuse fits in well with college culture. That being said, I'm getting a little behind the group, as my friend just wandered in and started poking me (hard) with the shillelagh-bong.

9:45 - The crowd and I managed to get a table at Skeeps. Between the green beer pitchers and the mini Long Island pitchers, we're set for awhile. However, people keep assuming that since our tabletop is relatively dry, that entitles them to drop their Irish junk all over it. Let's see what's in the Louis Vuitton purse…

10:00 - Wow. I didn't even know that Wet n' Wild had a St. Patrick's Day special.

11:00 - Dancing is fun. I don't know this person, but they seem to like dancing as much as I do. Let's hug.

6:20 (tomorrow morning) - Woke up next to an actual leprechaun. Red, bulbous nose, very short and wearing "Detroit hearts you" green suspenders. Another national holiday celebrated in the true college tradition.

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