The hype around HBO's new series "Tell Me You Love Me" has mainly circled around sex-and this show has a lot of it. The sex is not intended to be sexy, either. What is motivating the series is a quest for gritty realism, and the writers and producers have certainly succeeded in that. However, the question remains, is reality really that entertaining?
The series vacillates between the intimate struggles of three couples, and their eventual turn to therapy to resolve their issues. All the age groups are covered. There is the extremely passionate engaged couple in their twenties, Hugo (Luke Farrell Kirby) and Jamie (Michelle Borth). Their relationship is comprised of sex, sex, doubts about Hugo's fidelity, and then more sex, on the hardwood floor. Then there is the power-couple in their thirties, Carolyn (Sonya Walger) and Palek (Adam Scott), who are obsessively and unsuccessfully trying to conceive. Dave (Tim DeKay) and Katie (Allie Walker) are the parents in their forties, so caught up in their roles as parents that they have neglected and ignored their role as lovers. Lastly, there is the therapist they all turn to, Dr. May Foster (Jane Alexander), who, in her sixties, still has a very fulfilling sex life and career. (Of course).
The key to the show is not the sex, which is mostly distracting and uncomfortable. The camera lingers on these scenes, not to titillate or arouse, but to capture the routine and reality of these couples' sexual relationships. Unfortunately, this puts the audience in the position of watching this really boring, awkward sex. No one wants to watch that; in fact, it is what most of us desperately want to avoid. The problem, and crux of the series, appears to be the lack of communication in all the couples. It is often painful to observe how passive-aggressive and uncommunicative the characters are in their relationships. Contributing to this is the actors' inability to speak in Standard Atlantic Dialect, instead mumbling the majority of their lines. The idea that this is what most relationships are like, and that this show is in search of "reality," makes it understandable why many college students avoid intimate relationships altogether.
This theme of people not communicating their emotions is repeated throughout the series. When Jamie overhears and confronts Hugo dismissing the commitment aspect of their future marriage, he responds, "Let's not talk about it." When Dave and Katie's daughter gets her period far too early for her age, Katie fumbles around for words and then says, "do nothing." Carolyn and Palek's relationship builds deceit on top of deceit, first with not informing their family that they are trying for a baby, then with Carolyn getting fertility testing without Palek, and so forth. Everyone's reaction to confrontation is to avoid it at all costs.
This does not a healthy relationship make, which the show explains by guiding them all towards therapy. Yet much of the couples' actions are assumed and never explained at all. The reason why Palek and Carolyn want a child is unclear, and seems inadvisable considering where they are as a couple.
The word "love" is also thrown around with no meaning whatsoever. The characters, in particular the men, bandy it about as a band-aid for deep-set issues in the relationship. This must be intended as satire, but the problem with viewing this show as a satire is that despite how "real" a depiction of life is intended, it is hard to believe that most people are so completely unskilled with confrontation. These are not college students just learning how to be in an intimate relationship. These are middle-aged men and women struggling to even speak to each other about anything unpleasant. The situations presented appear too far-fetched to be completely objective reality.
It could be argued that this type of representation is essential to TV viewers, as it balances out the superficial, fluffed-up characters apparent on shows such as "The Hills" or "Gossip Girl," in a way that only HBO can do. However, those shows are some of the most popular on television because they are entertaining fantasy. Look at the most successful shows that have run: "Sex and the City," "Friends," "ER," even "I Love Lucy." Each of these was on the air for a long time because they achieved the balance between deep, meaningful connections with the characters and humor that spoke to their generation.
Not only does "Tell Me You Love Me" fail to create sympathetic characters, it is completely devoid of humor. Although, perhaps, it can be appreciated artistically, it lacks the entertainment value to become a show that people sit down and watch every week, even in spite of gratuitous sex scenes. MR
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